Codependency: Symptoms Behaviors & Relationships

Codependency: Symptoms Behaviors & Relationships | Hopelinks

Healthy Relationships vs. Codependent Relationships

The family system is an organism whose parts are interdependent, but members operate as a system. Codependent symptoms and behaviors often go unnoticed until a family member attempts to get help.

There are rules that eventually develop which members use to determine how they should act and feel. This builds a system that is made up of the component parts and linked together in a particular way to accomplish a common purpose. The sum of these parts usually creates either a healthy family or condependent one.

Recovery Help:

Understanding patterns and predictable ways families have for dealing with major problems.

Healthy Family System

  • Self worth is high.
  • Communication is direct, clear, specific and honest and feelings are expressed.
  • Rules are human, flexible and appropriate to change.
  • It is natural to link and be open to society.
  • Each person has goals and plans to get there, and should be supported by the family.

Codependent Family System

  • Dependent use of drug is the most important thing in a family life.
  • The root of problems for the whole is denial, rather than addiction or use of a substance.
  • Blame others and make no mention of it, covering up, alibis, loyalty to family, enables.
  • Nobody may openly discuss problems with others.
  • Nobody says what they feel or think.

How to Help a Codependent Loved One.

  • Learn facts about chemical dependency and codependency.
  • Go to counseling or visit AA.
  • Encourage your loved one to get involved in new activities.
  • Refrain from preaching and lecturing.
  • Never approach with a holier than thou attitude.
  • Don’t make threats.
  • Expect total recovery to take time.
  • Keep from over protecting your loved one from alcohol or drugs.
  • The choice has to be theirs.
  • Ensure honesty, stay away from being deceitful or going behind your loved ones back.
  • Let your loved one find their way to overcoming the codependency.

Nurturing Communication Gives Help for Codependency Symptoms

  • Communication is direct and honest.
  • Family member both listen and talk.
  • Self worth of each person should be recognized.
  • Problems are faced.
  • Family members work together to solve their problems.
  • Feelings are accepted and encouraged, both negative and positive feelings.

Codependency in the Family: The Rules

  • Don’t Express Feelings
  • Be Strong, Good, Right, Perfect
  • Make Us Proud
  • Don’t Be Selfish
  • Don’t Rock the Boat
  • Don’t Talk or Trust
  • Resist Outsiders in the House.
  • Keep Family Secrets
  • No personal Privacy
  • Resistant to Change

Symptoms of Codependency

  • Repression
  • Care Taking
  • Low Self Esteem
  • Obsession
  • Denial
  • Controlling
  • Little Communication
  • Weak or No Boundaries
  • Anger
  • Sexual Problems
  • Lack of Affection

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