Finding the Keys to Overcoming Codependent Anger
In overcoming personal anger others peoples’ stories will make you feel less alone in your struggle to overcome anger and codependency. Remember even families and relationships that look perfect have issues.
Nobody came with a clean slate or ever gets one – people are not God. Don’t make your expectations too high on yourself. If you succeed in some things and can’t learn others, accentuate the skills you have.
Finding a career you like rather than working only for the money will lessen your stress. You will also find that if you put your heart into your work it will usually prosper. If you believe there is a God with a plan look at the assets and talents you have you can follow your own path.
Everyone has some type of gift but constant anger and pushing yourself will block the gift. Trying to make other people happy is fruitless, because you lose your own self in the process. Many people, who are takers, know if you are an easy “dump” (never say no) so take advantage of you.
Not following your goals or are not setting limits and boundaries on others may be the cause of much of your anger. Lack of assertiveness is just asking to be taken advantage of. Having to be liked by everyone costs only you. It also takes away from the other person’s right, responsibility and opportunity to produce on their own.
Parents that do all for their children and never require limits are setting their child up without self control or ability to say, “no”, making them very inclined to become codependent. Much of the world is not run in an ethical healthy way. People set out to get to the top. Children need a model to be able to find what they want within. Taking pride in school work, receiving help with it and enjoying family nights will teach children to be capable and have a balance. Families with trust, respect and fun, lessen anger.
Overcoming Codependent Anger in Family Settings
If your anger is to the point of rage or you can’t put limits on it, please seek professional help. Domestic violence evaluation and classes can be very helpful. They will add to your life and family. Domestic violence is a crime. Withholding privileges (not including food, or clothes) is a responsible and workable way to discipline.
If you yell all the time people will not want you around and may be afraid of you. (Sometimes selfish people like this, because everyone caters to them out of fear of anger.) Inappropriate anger is a serious issue and finding help is critical. Many of these techniques may help you handle your anger appropriately if you take the time to invest in the process. Change takes time and you should tackle one thing at a time.
A deeper reason people use anger is because they are ashamed. If someone doesn’t think they are good enough they use the anger to hide their own inadequacy. These people like power and control over others since they don’t know how to run their own life. It also blocks anyone from knowing them. When you can see anger this way it is easy to see the person as weak and not the strong image they portray.