Needs vs. Wants Plus the Role of Pity

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True Needs vs. Wants (Artificial Needs)

What’s the difference between needs and wants?


Things you have to have to survive in life.


Things you would like to see happen in the positive way for yourself and others around you.

True needs in life are food & shelter, clothing, love and belonging. If you are missing any of these basic needs they are often replaced with artificial needs.

What are your needs? What are your wants? Are they aligned with true needs and wants, or are they artificial?

Others do not have to fail for you to succeed and you are not responsible for their issues. If you receive many positives in life be thankful to your Creator for the skills and abilities given to you.

Self acceptance is acknowledging your worth as a person. The more you acknowledge yourself as a unique individual different from all others and able to make wise choices, the more your good will increase.

Affirmations are reminders of good, relating to the thought system you would like to manifest. Affirmation are also an integral part of almost any codependency, addiction recovery program or system of building self esteem. Posting positive affirmations somewhere you can see them regularly and review them when you feel low can often be a good idea.

Some suggestions are:

  • It is more important to please myself than to please others.
  • It is okay to say no to what I don’t want.
  • It is okay to accept praise when I do well.
  • The more positive I am about life and myself the more positive people will be attracted to me.
  • I am more than a physical body.
  • I can keep myself attractive, but the true essence of myself is my soul, spirit and character.
  • I can enjoy the pleasure of my own company and alone time.
  • Self care involves reading, relaxation, positive activities and healthy friends who seek to be whole.
  • The more confident I become, the more capable I am to do things well.

The Role of Pity in Building Self Esteem

Usually self pity comes from feeling guilt, rejected, low self esteem, or feeling people are against you in general. Many people stay in situation where pity is involved, because of the pattern of their life. Seeking to gain support from others rather than being self sufficient, escapes the truth of seeking your true self. Self pity robs joy and destroys the building of self esteem.

Remember the effort you put into being whole directly affects how much you will benefit.

  • Talk about positive happenings.
  • Change your behavior.
  • Work on overcoming what you don’t like about yourself.
  • Put blame on things appropriately.
  • Do not settle for abuse or unwarranted criticism.
  • Gifts to give yourself each week.
  • A time for pleasure.
  • A time for meditation.
  • Getting a massage.
  • Develop a hobby.
  • Keep your priorities straight.
  • Don’t say you cannot do things, instead say you won’t do it.
  • Develop a sense of humor.
  • Believe it is joyful to be alive.
  • Welcome new experiences.
  • Maintain your dignity.
  • Look at yourself honestly.

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