When Times are Tough – Keep Going
A difficult subject might be if you did not get along with a family member and are asked to speak at the funeral and say some good words about the person. You can just be honest and say, “I’m not good at speeches”, or, “I choose not to do that.”
You may want to attend more for your sake than the other persons. It will ease your conscience from a lifetime of thinking, “maybe I should have gone”, and also aid in the good-bye process, whether the relationship was good or bad. Even losing something you didn’t want, can create tough times in the stages of grief and loss, because there is a level of comfort with the ‘now’. Grief is about change and by nature creates stress.
A further guide to some family issues is on the family roles in addiction page.
It may also give you comfort to lean on a strength greater than human power to help you continue and begin life with the void. People that believe life is mortal and there is no God or Heaven may have a harder time adjusting, as you think death is the end. Be willing to research the idea that this may not be true.
In closing remember that the intense grief will pass in time but that there will always be a lifetime of memories. It is okay to do something on Memorial Day and take a quiet time off for the birthday or anniversary of the one deceased to honor not only them, but the joy you contributed to their life.
Simple, Helpful Suggestions
- Acknowledge situations or events have happened.
- Allow yourself to go through the grief process.
- During the grieving process be gentle with yourself.
- Accept all feelings but know where it is safe to display them.
- Identify a support side.
- Be attentive to your bodies needs.
- Keep a journal.
- Identify difficult times like anniversaries and holidays.
- Start new interests and incorporate new friends when ready.